When all hell breaks loose.

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There is a message coming up at The Ridge Church called “When All Hell Breaks Loose”
We say this in our daily lives sometimes in passing about things that don’t go the way we think they should, or when when something seems out of line with our thinking, but what about when tragedy strikes and it feels like hell just literally broke lose and your world is spinning out of control?
What do you rely on? What keeps you going? I have had tragedy strike my world! As many of you have also. I lost my husband last year to suicide. Some of you know that because I’m very open and transparent with my loss. I believe it brings healing.
Most people think that is when my hell broke loose, the day my husband died, truth is it broke loose several years before that. My very loving, caring, attentive, hard working husband became ill. It didn’t start as a mental illness, it started with a physical illness that landed him in the hospital on a pain pump of morphine for 27 days, three abdominal surgeries and an inability to do his very physically demanding job. To a man, this is life shattering! You can’t lay in a hospital bed with that many narcotics and free time and not come out with some addiction issues and mental illness issues. That’s when my hell broke loose!
I was oblivious to it at first. Delusional to the fact that my husband was abusing prescription pain pills and self medicating with alcohol. After about 2 years of trying to control him and “fix” him I realized this was bigger than me. I had no control and it was making my life and my kids lives miserable. That’s when I started seeking advice and seeking God. It was a miserable existence! I only found peace when I was in God’s presence! I read books, read my bible, had scripture apps that sent me scriptures daily. I listened to the words of worship songs and asked God to help me believe that all the promises I heard in them would come to pass. I turned into a Jesus Freak!! He sustained me, He fulfilled me, He put people in my life at just the right moments and gave me all I needed to make it moment to moment. I’m thankful for those years of trials and hurts because it created a bond with my savior that I had to lean into and cling to at the time when my worst nightmare came to pass, when my husband lost his battle to mental illness and addiction.
If my hell had not have broken loose and I had not learned to rely on my relationship with God I don’t know where I would be today.
I wish no one ever has to go through what I have been through, but I promise to be a tool that God can use to help someone who is going through it. I will be available! I will share how HE is sufficient, His grace is enough and His promises are true when all hell breaks loose.

The Ridge Church is located in Oak Ridge TN and meets Sundays at 9:30 and 11:15.

Seeking Joy

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Feeling fear is from the enemy. I have been afraid to feel joy for so long. Afraid that some how it will be snatched away from me. Almost like I’ll jinx myself if I allow myself to seek joy. I have been learning over the last few months that if I seek God, the joy will follow. I am learning the beauty of balance. I’m learning I don’t have to know the end result of a situation or relationship, I just need to enjoy the now! I can spend my time being anxious or in fear that something I want will not work out, or I can enjoy the moment and the beauty with in each one of those moments. I can spend my time trying to get affirmation, or I can be confident in the fact that I am a daughter of the king of creation and if I will just breath and relax I will be affirmed in HIM!
I have learned that he gives and he takes away, it’s not always fair or fun, but he has a master plan!
I have to remind myself daily to stop living in fear, not because bad things won’t happen because truth is…bad stuff happens, but because I trust and have faith in God and he has carried and will carry me through those things.
By the time I am finished writing this I will have 10 things flood over me that I can fear if I choose to. Fear is from the enemy, peace is from God! Who will I choose to believe today?

If we have a further end in view, we do not pay sufficient attention to the immediate present: if we realize that obedience is the end, then each moment as it comes is precious.
-Oswald Chambers

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Rom 15:13

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Prv 13:12

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Rom 12:12

Straight From My Heart

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On this beautiful day I know there are some of you that feel a new season in the air. Not just a change in the weather, but a shift in how you feel. You’re tired of the same things everyday. Encouraged one moment, just to be let down again by the time the sun goes down. Some of you love some one with an addiction or alcohol problem.
I can almost bet that you woke up this morning sick to your stomach as if you were the one that abused your body last night.
I bet you thought surely he/she won’t do it again, or perhaps you’re past the point of thinking things will ever change. This is not how you imagined your life. You never thought you would come in second place to a pill or a drink! You thought you were the center of his/her universe! You fight, you argue, you try to rationalize with them. Then you shift gears and try to be understanding, forgiving, show a little grace. After all isn’t that what we are supposed to do as Christians? Forgive! Show mercy and grace! Then all of a sudden you realize you have just lost every bit of religion you ever had! You’re cursing them, badgering with them, baiting them. You find yourself counting pills, keeping up with how many beers are gone out of the fridge and BAM!!! Now it’s your fault. It’s your fault for trying to control them! It’s your fault because your trying to parent them rather than be their mate.
This my friends is a vicious cycle. It’s destructive to you and your family. If you’re not busy trying to convince everyone that “everything is fine” then you are trying to defend his/her behavior knowing that it is tearing you apart and making you a crazy person!!
Some stopped reading a while back because they just can’t relate. You that are still reading this… You want help, you want clarity, you want peace! There is a way to find that peace. It’s not always easy, it doesn’t always look the way you want it to. You have to do some hard work. It’s worth it!
Two things I can promise you is:
1. You don’t have to do it alone!
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 NIV

2. God keeps HIS promises!

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)

One thing we can do for ourselves and for the person that we love is surrender, give up the hard fight and fight the good fight!

The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” (Exodus 14:14 NLT)

My prayer is you read these scriptures and can feel the true power behind them. I pray you haven’t heard them so much or seen them on too many inspiring quotes on social media that they have some how become watered down. It’s is truth, and you can rely on them when nothing else seems to make sense.

The Ridge Church is in the planning phases of a recovery ministry. I encourage you to pray about where God would lead you in such a ministry. You may be reading this and want to find the peace that I’m talking about, you may be reading this and know exactly what I’m talking about. Either way there is a place for you. If you need prayer please let us know. God is moving and he is opening doors to peace and revival. Believe HIS promises, if you don’t know what they are, ask HIM to reveal them to you!

More details about the recovery ministry will be available in the weeks ahead, again if you need help or want prayer please let us know. You can e-mail me personally or email the church also.
Tara77harvey@gmail.com
Hello@ridgechurchonline.com

I don’t have all the answers, as a matter of fact I don’t have any of the answers, but I know the one who does.

Encouraging words or no words

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Encouraging Words or No Words.

I realized today while sitting in a doctors office that I am in an odd place in my life. I am blessed to be able to stay at home with my boys, but that also means I miss out on having the things that other normal grown ups have. Conversations with other adults on a regular basis is one of those things. That in itself is bittersweet. On one side I don’t have to listen to office gossip and the goings on of people that walk around with a chip on their shoulder, but it also means I have to be very intentional about the relationships I have, and the people I reach out to, or start a conversation with.

I was listening to the rather catty nurses that obviously had no clue the walls were as thin as a tortilla chip. They were whispering, probably about a co-worker, and I could STILL hear them. It reminded me of my office days. One office I worked in there were 6 or 7 of us women together everyday. We were like family to each other! We supported each other and loved on each other like sisters. As they often do, life’s twists and turns hurled me out of that loving sister-hood environment into an office that was full of gossip, hurtful, back stabbing, selfish and deceitful women. Wow! What a shock that was for me.
I learned a few things about life during those 3 years I worked there, some very helpful and life changing things. Working in that hostile environment helped mold me into the person I am. I learned to keep my mouth shut! Silence can’t be misquoted. I didn’t get involved in the banter and gossip that went back and forth between those ladies. I learned to tell people not to talk to me about anything they weren’t willing to talk about in front of everyone in that office. Everyone knew I would talk to them about what ever was going on with them, but I would shut them down if it turned negative or gossipy. I learned to give compliments, even if I didn’t want to. I wouldn’t lie… I’m not going to tell you I love your shoes if I wouldn’t even wear them to a cricket stompin contest. What I would do is pay attention and find something I liked and compliment them on that. I like your nail polish, or your hair looks great! Sometimes I had to look HARD!
I would pay attention to their body language and ask them what was wrong if they were down and what was making them so happy if they were smiling. I created relationships with them as individuals. They each grew to be my friends, and a few even asked me why I wasn’t like the rest of them. The answer was simple! Jesus.
I can tell you the core difference in these two groups of women. The first group was in love with Jesus! The second group only knew him as a guy in a story.

While I’m glad I don’t have to punch a time clock, or listen to chatty Cathy’s tear each other apart, I do miss the everyday opportunity to share the love of God with hurting people. After all, everyone is fighting a battle on the inside that most of us know nothing about.
We have the opportunity everyday to be the hands and feet, the mouth and ears of Jesus. It doesn’t have to be a big history changing moment, sometimes it’s just keeping your mouth shut when your gut tells you that you’re crossing a line into gossip. Sometimes it’s as simple as giving a complement. Be yourself, but first ask God to make you more like him.

Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down. (Proverbs 26:20 NIV)

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, (Romans 15:5 NIV)

God’s Grace is Sufficient, and Always On Time.

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God’s Grace is Sufficient, and Always On Time.
I am reminded daily of the realities that come along with being a widow and a Momma to boys that don’t have a Daddy to share in the good times and the bad.
It hits me in waves. Sometimes they are gentle and I see them coming. Sometimes they knock me over with a force that only someone that has walked this path can understand. It takes my breath and makes me feel like I have no control. The firsts are proving to be tough. We had our first Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter without Jeremy. I was either still in shock, or too busy trying to look like I was ok, because I don’t remember much about them. Now the recent things and things that are coming up are a little tougher. We have had 10 months to adjust to life without him, some days are easier than others. Bridges birthday was fine. God gave me what I needed to get thru that day with party plans and friends to enjoy, the day after however was terrible. Isaac having an accident that needed a trip to the ER and now Bridgedon’s surgery have brought a plethora of emotions. I can be anywhere from calm, to weepy, to empowered, to pissed, to broken, to thankful all in one swoop of a Kleenex that I have learned to keep stashed near by at all times.
My boys have their moments too, above all else they know its fine to have all those emotions, but its never ok to use them as an excuse to hurt someone else or make bad choices. They know better than anyone in my world when I have been hit with a tidal wave. They are the best things in my life and I am so blessed that God chose me to be their Momma.
One thing I want everyone to know is that we are ok. We are wounded and healing, but our God is good and he keeps His promises! My boys know God loves them with an unconditional love and I do my best everyday to remind them that no matter what our life looks like, His grace is sufficient. I know we will all face tough days and nights, but I also know God is bigger than any of those problems. I know I will continue to go through ups and downs, highs and lows, but also know who is in control. I know that His ways are not our ways and somethings we will never comprehend. I have stopped acting like I have it all together all the time, because truth is… I just don’t. If I can’t show the things I’m going through I’m robbing the glory from God that restores me time after time. He is the only way I am able to continue everyday with strength and dignity. Prayers from people I love and who love us keep me going…so thank you to all of you that have prayed for us, cared for us, helped us, poured into our lives with your gifts, talents, paint brushes, nail guns, mops, brooms, and simply time spent with us. You are being the church, the hands, feet, and heart of Jesus! To God all the glory for past, present, and beautiful future that my boys and I have ahead of us.

Little Fit Pitcher

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On most days my boys are great kids! For the most part they listen, have manors, and are obedient, happy little boys. They do have strong personalities, some adults don’t appreciate kids that “think outside the box”, but that’s an entirely different post…
Every once in a while when they are tired, sick, or just in a mood they can aggravate the hair off a cat! They want what they want and they want it NOW! They have resorted to foot stompin, fit pitchin, and down right grating my nerves with their demands!! No matter how they act the way I love them doesn’t change!
Today I realized I’m not much different than my boys. I had to stop my myself from throwing a fit and ask myself how my Heavenly Father sees me. Most days he sees the happy, well rounded, respectful, obedient child that loves people and loves him.
Other days he sees the spoiled brat that wants things to go my way RIGHT NOW! Either way, he loves me the same, he doesn’t change!
Today I had a little pity party, I was pitching a fit and stompin my feet! I finally realized…. THIS ISN’T GONNA MAKE ANYTHING BETTER! I asked him to remind me of his promises for me. I almost instantly felt a peace come over me. My tears of selfishness quickly changed to tears of joy when I realized the best thing I could do for myself can not compare to what God has in store for me! Just like I have to tell my kids sometimes, he told me this evening: Be still little girl, stop pitching a fit and wait for what I am creating and molding JUST for you!! It will be worth the wait!

Scrapbook of the soul

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Some relationships need to be safely tucked in the mental scrapbook of our soul. The pages can show the good times, the laughs, the sad times, the rebellious times, the giggles and butterflies. Some relationships weren’t meant to last forever, no matter how much we long for them. The memories of all the firsts, the innocence, the “what could have been”, the dreams that never came to pass. The hopes for a future and the reality of end can be beautifully adorned on the backsplash of our minds. Some never to be visited physically again. Some skeletons should never be taken out their locked closets. Some we can unleash and dance with for a while, but ultimately we have to put them back in their appointed places. Friendships that started as innocent kids and ended as the realization that our life’s twist and turns into adulthood have taken us down far different paths.
All of our relationships are a part of our journey. Not all of them are safe, but all are necessary to realize who we are. Some are safe, but don’t take root. Take a little from each one, and leave behind the parts that hurt after you have learned what you were supposed to learn. In the end there’s only LOVE! Love and forgive, but don’t be a victim. Love and ask for forgiveness wether they grant it to you or not. Be the best version of you and the relationships that are meant to stick will and the ones that weren’t, put them in the scrapbook.

Restless and Thankful

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In a place some where between sorrow and joy, restlessness and peace I give God this day. Today I will let him use me, show me, fill me, I will allow myself to feel his peace,and let others feel his peace through me.
I may never have it all together, but I’ll never give up, give in, or lay down in whatever circumstances I am facing. I may visit them for a while, but thank God I don’t have to stay there! Refreshing myself today! Thankful for the things given and the things taken away. It ain’t always easy, but ALWAYS worth it in the end. Sometimes it takes all the strength I have just to be still and wait, but it’s not as exhausting as trying to figure it all out by myself.

God gives us a heart for certain people

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God gives some a heart for orphans, some a heart for homeless, some for the ones with addictions and strongholds. Some he gives a heart for prostitutes and wayward women, some he gives a heart for the lost souls, some he gives a heart for those that are saved but are very immature in their spiritual walk.
We all love differently and we all witness differently. I may never be able to witness to a homeless person but I may have the opportunity to witness to someone in a place you could never imagine yourself being. Some people would never receive the truth of God from me because of the perception of who I am or how I carry myself. I’m good with that. I do plant seeds wherever I go. Sometimes I’m able to water the seeds that someone else has planted, or be the light on a growing sprout that is turning into something beautiful. My point is God doesn’t expect us to till the ground, plant the seed, water the seed, give sunlight to the sprout and harvest the crop that comes from that seed. I pray that I am never a hinderance to someone’s salvation or growth!
Many seeds have been planted with different productions, like The Bible series on the History channel. Some people may have never had a chance to hear the gospel any other way. If you feel like its not for you… Don’t watch it, but be careful not to uproot a seed that may be causing someone to seek the truth on their own! Gods word will never go void regardless of the producers intent.

Tough reality

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One of my self pronounced atheist friends has helped me thru my grief process more than most of my Christian friends. He allows me to be mad when I’m mad and sad when I’m sad with no judgement or simply saying “bless your heart and saying they’d be praying for me. He has got in touch with me consistently just to check on me and ask if I need/want to vent. He’s never tried to “debunk” my Lord or talk negative about my faith or lack of. He allows me to talk about my relationship with God and never tries to talk me out of it.
The bizarre thing to me is I know how he was raised. He came up in a Christian home. As a matter of fact his dad is a baptist minister. He says he respects his families belief system but doesn’t follow it. At first I thought it was some sort of rebellion, and it maybe. His response to that is he understands why I would think that, but it isn’t.
Christians have really screwed up this Jesus for a lot of people. That makes me sad and angry. I don’t know how he makes it thru a day without God, especially with all he has seen in his life.
He probably knows more about the bible than I do, yet he finds comfort in science, not God. He knows who Jesus is and what he did here on earth. He understands the concept of a savior but that’s because he explores all ways of thinking.
I used to try to debate him years ago when he was going off to war. His comment to me was “Ya know the old saying goes, there’s no atheist in fox holes”. Guess what he came out of those foxholes alive, and still an atheist.
One thing about my atheist friend thats different than my Christian friends…he isn’t taking away from or adding unnecessary things to the gospel of Jesus.
Christians are screwing up others faith!