God’s Grace is Sufficient, and Always On Time.
I am reminded daily of the realities that come along with being a widow and a Momma to boys that don’t have a Daddy to share in the good times and the bad.
It hits me in waves. Sometimes they are gentle and I see them coming. Sometimes they knock me over with a force that only someone that has walked this path can understand. It takes my breath and makes me feel like I have no control. The firsts are proving to be tough. We had our first Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter without Jeremy. I was either still in shock, or too busy trying to look like I was ok, because I don’t remember much about them. Now the recent things and things that are coming up are a little tougher. We have had 10 months to adjust to life without him, some days are easier than others. Bridges birthday was fine. God gave me what I needed to get thru that day with party plans and friends to enjoy, the day after however was terrible. Isaac having an accident that needed a trip to the ER and now Bridgedon’s surgery have brought a plethora of emotions. I can be anywhere from calm, to weepy, to empowered, to pissed, to broken, to thankful all in one swoop of a Kleenex that I have learned to keep stashed near by at all times.
My boys have their moments too, above all else they know its fine to have all those emotions, but its never ok to use them as an excuse to hurt someone else or make bad choices. They know better than anyone in my world when I have been hit with a tidal wave. They are the best things in my life and I am so blessed that God chose me to be their Momma.
One thing I want everyone to know is that we are ok. We are wounded and healing, but our God is good and he keeps His promises! My boys know God loves them with an unconditional love and I do my best everyday to remind them that no matter what our life looks like, His grace is sufficient. I know we will all face tough days and nights, but I also know God is bigger than any of those problems. I know I will continue to go through ups and downs, highs and lows, but also know who is in control. I know that His ways are not our ways and somethings we will never comprehend. I have stopped acting like I have it all together all the time, because truth is… I just don’t. If I can’t show the things I’m going through I’m robbing the glory from God that restores me time after time. He is the only way I am able to continue everyday with strength and dignity. Prayers from people I love and who love us keep me going…so thank you to all of you that have prayed for us, cared for us, helped us, poured into our lives with your gifts, talents, paint brushes, nail guns, mops, brooms, and simply time spent with us. You are being the church, the hands, feet, and heart of Jesus! To God all the glory for past, present, and beautiful future that my boys and I have ahead of us.