Encouraging Words or No Words.

I realized today while sitting in a doctors office that I am in an odd place in my life. I am blessed to be able to stay at home with my boys, but that also means I miss out on having the things that other normal grown ups have. Conversations with other adults on a regular basis is one of those things. That in itself is bittersweet. On one side I don’t have to listen to office gossip and the goings on of people that walk around with a chip on their shoulder, but it also means I have to be very intentional about the relationships I have, and the people I reach out to, or start a conversation with.

I was listening to the rather catty nurses that obviously had no clue the walls were as thin as a tortilla chip. They were whispering, probably about a co-worker, and I could STILL hear them. It reminded me of my office days. One office I worked in there were 6 or 7 of us women together everyday. We were like family to each other! We supported each other and loved on each other like sisters. As they often do, life’s twists and turns hurled me out of that loving sister-hood environment into an office that was full of gossip, hurtful, back stabbing, selfish and deceitful women. Wow! What a shock that was for me.
I learned a few things about life during those 3 years I worked there, some very helpful and life changing things. Working in that hostile environment helped mold me into the person I am. I learned to keep my mouth shut! Silence can’t be misquoted. I didn’t get involved in the banter and gossip that went back and forth between those ladies. I learned to tell people not to talk to me about anything they weren’t willing to talk about in front of everyone in that office. Everyone knew I would talk to them about what ever was going on with them, but I would shut them down if it turned negative or gossipy. I learned to give compliments, even if I didn’t want to. I wouldn’t lie… I’m not going to tell you I love your shoes if I wouldn’t even wear them to a cricket stompin contest. What I would do is pay attention and find something I liked and compliment them on that. I like your nail polish, or your hair looks great! Sometimes I had to look HARD!
I would pay attention to their body language and ask them what was wrong if they were down and what was making them so happy if they were smiling. I created relationships with them as individuals. They each grew to be my friends, and a few even asked me why I wasn’t like the rest of them. The answer was simple! Jesus.
I can tell you the core difference in these two groups of women. The first group was in love with Jesus! The second group only knew him as a guy in a story.

While I’m glad I don’t have to punch a time clock, or listen to chatty Cathy’s tear each other apart, I do miss the everyday opportunity to share the love of God with hurting people. After all, everyone is fighting a battle on the inside that most of us know nothing about.
We have the opportunity everyday to be the hands and feet, the mouth and ears of Jesus. It doesn’t have to be a big history changing moment, sometimes it’s just keeping your mouth shut when your gut tells you that you’re crossing a line into gossip. Sometimes it’s as simple as giving a complement. Be yourself, but first ask God to make you more like him.

Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down. (Proverbs 26:20 NIV)

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, (Romans 15:5 NIV)