In my 12 step recovery group we are hovering over step 4. It’s a TOUGH step. It reads like this:

Step Four
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to The Lord.
Lam 3:40

Seriously??! Fearless??? That’s a big order to fill!
Every morning it seems I wake up and have to start all over! I have to remind myself the promises of God. It seems like fear can take over my thoughts, invade my security, challenge my faith all before my feet hit the ground.
In step four there are a few things I’ve underlined that tell me I am not “terminally unique”.
I could just copy and paste the entire section, but I’ll hit the highlights that stuck out to me.
“Fear limits our ability to be rational. When fear is present, it is difficult to see situations in their true perspective.”
What this says to me is fear is the reason I can wake up on any given morning and let my mind wonder down the path of anxiety, and insecurity.
Most people think I’m a very secure strong woman, but until I talk to Jesus I am a hot mess! I don’t see myself or my situations in their true perspectives. I don’t see me through God’s eyes, I see a woman that could loose a little weight, keep a cleaner house, have more patience with my boys. I don’t see my relationships through God’s eyes because the fear in me says that they will all just disappear one day, or that I may have said something that will offend someone, even though that’s far from my nature. God’s perspective is that I am secure, He has set my boundaries in pleasant places. God’s perspective is that He loves me regardless if I fall short in my domestic duties. God’s perspective is He loves me enough to help me change the short comings in my life without beating me up about it. God’s perspective is He has given me the relationships I have, He tells me that everything has a season including relationships. If He chooses to let that season last a lifetime, then I will be blessed for a lifetime. If He chooses the season to be short-lived even then I shouldn’t fear because in the end all things will work out for my good and His glory because I love HIM!

Most people hear recovery and think specifically about drugs or alcohol. While that is part of our ministry it doesn’t define the ministry. We deal with topics like fear, insecurity, abuse, self worth…anything that can be used to destroy our peace and kill our joy.
We are on a journey to wholeness while seeking Jesus in every part of our lives. Hearts and minds will be opened to receive the love that God wants to pour over you. Freedom awaits us. I’m looking forward to walking this journey with you. In the coming weeks there will be announcements on dates and times for our recovery groups on the church blog, and during Sunday services. You can email us if you have questions at:

Recovery@ridgechurchonline.com

Yesterday I had a few Momma moments with Isaac that in the moment felt justified, but after thinking about it for a while I felt kind of bad for being so tough on him. Anyone that knows Isaac knows he is a trail blazer and is very…. What’s the word??? Determined, or ambitious. These can be very good characteristics, unless it’s your job to raise this very eager and energetic child into a healthy productive adult. That’s where the challenge comes in.
As I’m learning more and more about grace I had this thought this morning while reflecting on my parenting skills,or sometimes the lack of.
” If I am supposed to show grace to people in the world for the things they do that may be offensive or hurtful, why do I find it so hard to display the same grace to my children?”
Almost out of clear air this thought popped into my mind…
“It’s better to discipline my children now so they don’t grow up to be the adults that require more grace and forgiveness later”

What if we could have complete transparency? Lay it all out there. Bring our demons out of their hiding places. Truth is they are no secret to our omnipotent God. For those of you like me that need Webster’s help on that big word, it means all knowing, all powerful!
What if we could all wear our Scarlett letters on our chest like a badge of honor? Do you think it would drive people away or draw people near? Would it free others up to let their secrets out and gain freedom from the things that keep us in bondage? What if we were to give God all the glory and deny the enemy power over our secrets any longer? What if we got real down and dirty with ourselves and took responsibility for the things we have done or are doing. Do you find freedom in those thoughts? Or fear?
What if we could find the reason we hang on to our sins, our rationalizations, the reason we take that drag, that swig, that bite, look at that garbage, swallow that pill, tell those lies, belittle others, pretend to be someone we are not or deny ourselves of who we really want to be. These thoughts terrify and inspire me. They cause me to search myself. Do I dig in my hiding place deeper? Or poke my head of towards the light?

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalms 139:23, 24 KJV)

And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. (Luke 9:23 KJV)

Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. (Matthew 16:24 KJV)

I know a secret! Well, it’s not a secret at all actually. It’s a promise! One that I can hold near to my heart and have confidence that no matter what this life throws at me I am a chosen one and it’s all gonna be ok!
It sounds silly to some, but to the other chosen ones…they get it.
It sounds like a secret society doesn’t it? Like a club you have to be initiated into? Guess what! It’s not! It’s open for all to be a part of. The entry fee has already been paid. The membership never runs out. There is nothing you can do to earn your way in. All you have to do is ask…

It is no secret I have been through some tough stuff in my life! It is also very evident that I am blessed beyond measure!! My life is full and I am grateful for all things! I want to share some things that have overwhelmed me this morning.
Our sermon series at church these last few weeks has been called “Chainbreakers” This past week we touched on some pretty tough stuff. The theories that people have as to why bad things happen to them…
Bobby (pastor) mentioned a few things that would seem to make sense in our society today because we live in a world where people believe what motivational posters or quotes say, but the truth is most times our hardships just don’t make sense. They have nothing to do with how we are behaving, how we were raised, or what kind of luck we have.
They have everything thing to do with who we turn to when our lives fall apart or become unmanageable.

I have been through a lot of bad stuff. Some may have been linked to my choices because every choice does have a consequence, but most of the “big” things I have faced have not been because of my own choice or because I have done or not done certain things. God allows things to happen to us. He permits certain things to bring us to our knees. Some of you may wonder things like “What kind of God would do that?” The only way I know how to answer that is to say, we live in a fallen world. We live in evil times. We live in a battle everyday that is ever changing and ever evolving with the generations. I know this is a foreign concept to some, but God is good! God is good despite all the bad things that happened to you!
Some of the things that I have been through are very evident, losing my husband to suicide is just one of them. So many other things that I have had to battle only people close to me know about. Some other battles have been public like my Mom’s breast cancer, her stoke, loosing a home, seeing my child on a ventilator after being hit by a car, having to move my children to different homes and schools due to circumstances beyond my control. I won’t even begin to scratch the surface of the inner battles that I face alone in my mind everyday, the same ones that many of you deal with every day. Big or small they are all personal battles. Most of them are lies from the enemy! Attacks on your self worth, or identity. I want everyone to know that there isn’t an ounce of strength in me that got me through these battles alone. I give all glory to God because it is through Him that I have faced, and gotten through some of my worst nightmares that have come to pass. There is no amount of personal growth, karma, motivational speakers, self help books, or medication that can give what faith in God can give you. Even in times of questioning His grace is sufficient. I am no bible scholar, I can’t quote scripture off the top of my head without an app on my iPhone, I still have some moments when I question, but what I can do is share with you my story. The events in my life that have caused what I felt as separation from God and the journey to find wholeness in Him. I can tell you how all the crap I have been through is now part of me. I could choose to hold on to it and let it fester into bitterness and have a cold heart, but I don’t. I choose to be an open book and tell you what God has done for me. You may be in a place where you feel like God has abandoned you, or you may have never known him at all. You may be in a place where you have decided to turn your back to God because you feel like he has nothing to offer and you keep getting kicked when your down. I’m sorry you feel that way. I can’t promise things will get better, but I can promise you can find peace in those storms. I can’t fix ANYTHING for you!! What I can do is spend a little time with you and tell you how I have found peace, how I seek peace and how I have to remind myself everyday of the same truths, because I still face battles, I’m still human and fail everyday! Despite all that I am loved more than I ever deserve.
I am posting this today despite the fear of how it may sound or come across. I even fear rejection or ridicule to be honest. I get intimidated easily, but overall I know where my strength comes from.
The feeling that someone else needs some encouragement trumps all those anxieties so I’m putting it out there! Again, I’m no scholar, no biblical genius, and I certainly don’t have all the answers. I’m just a girl that lives life the best way I know how, loving people along the way. I don’t care who you are, what you look like, who you date, what choices you have made in the past, or what label you wear on your britches. I will be available if you want to talk, email, message, pray… What ever. I may not be available 24/7, but I will do what I can when I can. Tara77harvey@gmail.com or message me on FB.

I have had a huge realization over the past few days. I have a blessed life! Of course I’ve known this, but I was reminded this weekend once again. Here are just a few things I came to realize this weekend away from the everyday wonderful/crazy life I have.
My best friend of 30 years is still one of the loves of my life, her parents are a fine example of unconditional love, grace, forgiveness and what it means to honor marriage vows even when you want to kick each other in the shin bone.
I have found an amazing kind of love with a man that was an answer to prayers. We compliment each other in so many ways. As long as he and I keep our focus as we have promised we will, we can do amazing things together… That focus is on God, not each other, just in case you were wondering. Neither of us are perfect, but we make each other want to be better people.
I have had boys running in and out of my house since 1999 that I have loved like my own and sent home to their Momma’s when I ran out of food, or energy, but I’ve NEVER ran out of love for ANY of them. Now I see the big picture and know what God was prepping me for. Thank you Thomas, Allan, Nick, Dalton, Braun, Bryce, Scott, and Josmar for teaching me how to love all the boys in my life! I’m sure there are more to mention but that’s the short list.
If you know me AT ALL, you know I love a road trip! I will load these little boys up with a toothbrush and a pack of crackers and set out on an adventure. We may go to the beach, the Smokies, or just down the road to a hotel with a pool, but it brings me great joy and a time to reflect on memories from my childhood and all the things that made me who I am and who I want to be. In the words of John Earley “You’re not lost as long as you have gas in the tank”
I’m thankful for him giving me his spirit of adventure by dragging me and Bridget on every twisty turny road on the Eastern side of this beautiful country we live in.
I’m thankful for my heartbreaks and hurts because it makes me realize how blessed I am in the good times. It also reminds me who to cling to when rough waters are before me… and unfortunately in this world there will be more to come, I’m just a little better prepared when the boat starts rocking. I will always try to find the silver lining and keep on going on adventures. God is good, ALL THE TIME! I’m very thankful for my lot! I’m also very thankful for the people God has given me to adventure through this life with. Let me know if you want to join us sometime. The more the merrier, atleast for a few days. 😉

I can’t help but giggle when I think I have things all figured out, all of the sudden God shakes things up a bit. This southern girl is laying here in one of the most comfortable beds I’ve ever slept in, in Barberton Ohio with my sweet, sleeping little boys trying to come up with something articulate to say about what I’m thankful for.
The only thing that comes to me are tears of joy. I can’t make a list of all I’m thankful for, there’s not enough time and some of y’all are trying to cook a turkey today.
I will say I am thankful for all things! All things given and all things taken away. I’m thankful that God is all knowing and that he knows what’s best for me. I’m thankful for a good perspective and not holding on to bitterness. I’m thankful for old memories and new beginnings. I’m thankful for my lot in life…every moment, every person God has given me.

Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. (Psalm 16:5, 6 NIV)

I have a lot of friends with so much to be thankful for and even more that are worn out from the fight this life on earth takes. Thankfulness, gratefulness, gratitude and a good perspective are the life boats that rescue us from troubled waters. Happy Thanksgiving everyone, I challenge y’all to be thankful everyday, not just on Turkey Day!

Tonight I am thankful for many, many things and people in my life. One friend is on my mind specifically this evening. His name is Dwight, he has no Facebook or Twitter so no need to try to look him up. I’ve only known him since August, but he has made a lasting impression in my life and my boys lives. Only a few of you know of him, and even fewer really know him. He is a fantastic man that is a little rough around the edges. My friends met him out in the woods where he lived. How many friends do you have that were once homeless, or still are? When I met him in August he had been sober for about 30 days, he came and put in a lot of hours to make my house a home. I didn’t know him from Adam’s house cat, but he didn’t care, he just came to help this widow lady and her boys. He’s spent most of his adult life on lockdown. How many of you know or love someone that’s spent most of their days pinned up somewhere? He messaged me this morning, just to let me know he was thinking about us and that he hopes to get to see us soon. He told me his is still sober, he said its a hard fight everyday, but one he’s not willing to loose. How many of your friends are counting their days sober and are fighting to stay that way?
I was a little nervous about letting Dwight tell my boys the stories of his life journey, then I realized, this is his story to tell! God puts certain people in our lives for specific reasons, who am I to question his purpose for our lives?!? They can tell you how he has been shot, stabbed, arrested, jacked up, drunk, just about dead and and the redemption stories too. Not all kids get to hear about or get to know people like Dwight. I decided to let them get to know Dwight because he too is a child of God. He can express the greatness of God’s mercy, grace, and forgiveness because he has truly experienced it. They love him, and ask about him often. He was one person that both of them wanted to see the last time we traveled. I wish we could all love like kids love. Up until now I haven’t had many friends like Dwight, but I can honestly say I am a better person just by knowing him. I am thankful to know Dwight, I’m thankful that he shared with my boys that he now walks with God! I am thankful for obedient friends that listened when God told them to go out in the woods and take this man some supplies. I am thankful that he is still sober. I am thankful for my friend Dwight.

How did I get this way?
I ask myself, what are you passionate about? What am I a fan of? A particular team? A type of car? A brand of clothes? A certain store? The answer is none of these things really matter to me. I’m not sporting a team logo on my car, or a label on my pocket. I can’t tell you a show on TV that can keep me inside to watch it if I want to be outside with the boys.

There are a few things I’ve come to appreciate over the years… Shoes that don’t make my legs hurt, hair stuff that keeps it from its natural frizzy condition, good quality toilet paper, and lipstick that stays on. I want a car that runs, carries lots of people, and has A/C, I don’t care what color it is or what make and model it is.
I do love my phone, but I’ve ALWAYS had an addiction to a phone, since it was tethered to a wall with a 20 foot spiral cord. All in all I could take or leave most things. I wish I would keep my house more…picked up, but I really love kid running in and out feeling free and safe in our home. Ok.. I love it till I get tired, then this Momma brings the smack down, just trying to keep it honest!
So I dig deeper. I feel passionate about my kids and their future, not academic so much as their happiness and identity in God. I love, LOVE, love my friends! I love all they contribute to my life and I love contributing to their lives. I love my church. After being in such a great “community of believers” in Myrtle Beach I was almost afraid I would never experience that again…. I feel that now with my church and small group at The Ridge. I care about what God thinks about me, I hate when I feel I have disappointed him!!! I love telling how God has moved in my life. I sometimes wish I didn’t h e so much material to work with, but who’s keeping track? Right?!?
I like it when my friends get excited (not obsessed) over “their team”, but that’s because I love them. I love it when they can show off their new ride and to see the excitement in their faces when they get something they have been wanting.
I’m also thankful stuff really doesn’t matter that much to me. People do.
I wonder what makes me that way?!