The Bible tells us we shouldn’t be unequally yoked, the reference is in regards to partnering with non-believers. Many pastors, teachers, counselors and mentors use this term in marriage. Have you heard this term? Do you comprehend this term? A yoke is farming equipment used to put two large animals together at the neck so that they can pull equally and do their “job” more sufficiently and equally.  
So…you’re married. Maybe you didn’t comprehend this statement when you decided to marry, maybe you or your spouse weren’t believers when you married. Maybe you married because you thought it was the right thing to do at the time. Either way you are proverbially tied at the neck with another human being. Somedays the work seems even things are going fine and moving right along. Other days it may seem if you are dragging that sorry piece of deadweight behind you while you are lunging forward vowing to get the task ahead of you done all by your self! Or quite possibly you are being the dead weight and your spouse is snarling and stomping trying to get you to see that you’re not pulling your weight and how it leaves all the responsibility on them.  
In these times of frustration how are you as a Christian supposed to handle these things? This is where we have to turn to our pocket field guide (The Bible) and hit our knees seeking how God would have you handle these things. A “WWJD” type of moment for the lack of better words.  

Do you think Jesus would handle it by throwing out passive aggressive comments? Stomping your feet and pouting? Screaming at the top of your lungs about the sorry job as a parent, spouse or friend your partner has done? I’m gonna go with…PROBABLY NOT! 

All though these are the natural defaults that our human nature embrace, this is not the way Jesus wants us to handle this, and after all is said and done isn’t HIM we are aiming to please?! 

There are many many scriptures that back me up in this but there are a few things that have to happen before those words matter… First you have to believe those words. You have to believe those words were written to you, for you, and about you, even when things seem unfair or that Gods’s promises aren’t coming in the time frame you would like.  

Second you have to put them into action, which is easy when things are going smoothly, but what about when you spouse isn’t meeting an expectation that you have? Is it so easy to put the meek, mild, forgiving, mercy, holding of the tongue, and grace into action when you want to throat punch the other person? NOT AT ALL! But in order to reap the harvest of peace, and joy you have to sow those seeds even in the hard times. Sometimes this takes more than you have in you, that’s the moments you have to train yourself to lean in closer to God and tap into HIS strength. 

Use the difficult parts of your marriage to grow you closer to God, learn HIS ways, reflect HIS character. 

You disqualify yourself when you react to a situation rather than lifting it up to God in prayer. He will show you the way to respond to rather than react to something that angers you. 

Here are a few scriptures that may help with this training. I would love to hear any that are “go to”

Scriptures for you when you feel a throw down coming on. Remember these words are not going to make sense to your friends that are non-believers, they are going to tell you to “get what you deserve”and they will be glad to join you a verbal bashing of your spouse, don’t fall into that trap. 
 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. Rom 8:25

 Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Eccl 7:8

 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him. Prv 26:4

 Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. 2Tim 2:23

 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, Jas 1:19
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭4-7‬ NIV)

This is intended for our ladies group at Ridge Recovery, but if it speaks to you then it was intended for you as well.

Good morning ladies. I have found myself reflecting on Kevin’s devotional a lot since Tuesday. Part of it for me was that God uses the unlikely, the unconsecrated, the unimpressive. I am all of these things! I honestly don’t even fully comprehend unconsecrated, but I get the gest… It’s me. I have found myself in a place where God is using me! In this Chaplain training I am working along side senior pastors, licensed therapists, and people with degrees in religion and theology. The only thing I have to offer is 2 semesters of an incomplete associates degree in business (that I picked because there was no required algebra) and a long list of God’s grace and redemption from my own choices or other people’s choices that directly effected me. God appointed me to this position, He called me to this opportunity to serve regardless of my credentials or lack of. So when you come to a point in your life that you feel unworthy, not smart enough, not skilled enough please remember these words! Just like David, the little boy tending sheep that was called to be king above all the other more likely and qualified brothers YOU are called to a higher purpose. No matter your past, or your present HE knows your future and he wants you to follow Him.

1 Corinthians 1:26-31New International Version (NIV)

26 Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”

In my 12 step recovery group we are hovering over step 4. It’s a TOUGH step. It reads like this:

Step Four
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to The Lord.
Lam 3:40

Seriously??! Fearless??? That’s a big order to fill!
Every morning it seems I wake up and have to start all over! I have to remind myself the promises of God. It seems like fear can take over my thoughts, invade my security, challenge my faith all before my feet hit the ground.
In step four there are a few things I’ve underlined that tell me I am not “terminally unique”.
I could just copy and paste the entire section, but I’ll hit the highlights that stuck out to me.
“Fear limits our ability to be rational. When fear is present, it is difficult to see situations in their true perspective.”
What this says to me is fear is the reason I can wake up on any given morning and let my mind wonder down the path of anxiety, and insecurity.
Most people think I’m a very secure strong woman, but until I talk to Jesus I am a hot mess! I don’t see myself or my situations in their true perspectives. I don’t see me through God’s eyes, I see a woman that could loose a little weight, keep a cleaner house, have more patience with my boys. I don’t see my relationships through God’s eyes because the fear in me says that they will all just disappear one day, or that I may have said something that will offend someone, even though that’s far from my nature. God’s perspective is that I am secure, He has set my boundaries in pleasant places. God’s perspective is that He loves me regardless if I fall short in my domestic duties. God’s perspective is He loves me enough to help me change the short comings in my life without beating me up about it. God’s perspective is He has given me the relationships I have, He tells me that everything has a season including relationships. If He chooses to let that season last a lifetime, then I will be blessed for a lifetime. If He chooses the season to be short-lived even then I shouldn’t fear because in the end all things will work out for my good and His glory because I love HIM!

Most people hear recovery and think specifically about drugs or alcohol. While that is part of our ministry it doesn’t define the ministry. We deal with topics like fear, insecurity, abuse, self worth…anything that can be used to destroy our peace and kill our joy.
We are on a journey to wholeness while seeking Jesus in every part of our lives. Hearts and minds will be opened to receive the love that God wants to pour over you. Freedom awaits us. I’m looking forward to walking this journey with you. In the coming weeks there will be announcements on dates and times for our recovery groups on the church blog, and during Sunday services. You can email us if you have questions at:

Recovery@ridgechurchonline.com

Yesterday I had a few Momma moments with Isaac that in the moment felt justified, but after thinking about it for a while I felt kind of bad for being so tough on him. Anyone that knows Isaac knows he is a trail blazer and is very…. What’s the word??? Determined, or ambitious. These can be very good characteristics, unless it’s your job to raise this very eager and energetic child into a healthy productive adult. That’s where the challenge comes in.
As I’m learning more and more about grace I had this thought this morning while reflecting on my parenting skills,or sometimes the lack of.
” If I am supposed to show grace to people in the world for the things they do that may be offensive or hurtful, why do I find it so hard to display the same grace to my children?”
Almost out of clear air this thought popped into my mind…
“It’s better to discipline my children now so they don’t grow up to be the adults that require more grace and forgiveness later”

What if we could have complete transparency? Lay it all out there. Bring our demons out of their hiding places. Truth is they are no secret to our omnipotent God. For those of you like me that need Webster’s help on that big word, it means all knowing, all powerful!
What if we could all wear our Scarlett letters on our chest like a badge of honor? Do you think it would drive people away or draw people near? Would it free others up to let their secrets out and gain freedom from the things that keep us in bondage? What if we were to give God all the glory and deny the enemy power over our secrets any longer? What if we got real down and dirty with ourselves and took responsibility for the things we have done or are doing. Do you find freedom in those thoughts? Or fear?
What if we could find the reason we hang on to our sins, our rationalizations, the reason we take that drag, that swig, that bite, look at that garbage, swallow that pill, tell those lies, belittle others, pretend to be someone we are not or deny ourselves of who we really want to be. These thoughts terrify and inspire me. They cause me to search myself. Do I dig in my hiding place deeper? Or poke my head of towards the light?

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalms 139:23, 24 KJV)

And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. (Luke 9:23 KJV)

Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. (Matthew 16:24 KJV)

I know a secret! Well, it’s not a secret at all actually. It’s a promise! One that I can hold near to my heart and have confidence that no matter what this life throws at me I am a chosen one and it’s all gonna be ok!
It sounds silly to some, but to the other chosen ones…they get it.
It sounds like a secret society doesn’t it? Like a club you have to be initiated into? Guess what! It’s not! It’s open for all to be a part of. The entry fee has already been paid. The membership never runs out. There is nothing you can do to earn your way in. All you have to do is ask…

It is no secret I have been through some tough stuff in my life! It is also very evident that I am blessed beyond measure!! My life is full and I am grateful for all things! I want to share some things that have overwhelmed me this morning.
Our sermon series at church these last few weeks has been called “Chainbreakers” This past week we touched on some pretty tough stuff. The theories that people have as to why bad things happen to them…
Bobby (pastor) mentioned a few things that would seem to make sense in our society today because we live in a world where people believe what motivational posters or quotes say, but the truth is most times our hardships just don’t make sense. They have nothing to do with how we are behaving, how we were raised, or what kind of luck we have.
They have everything thing to do with who we turn to when our lives fall apart or become unmanageable.

I have been through a lot of bad stuff. Some may have been linked to my choices because every choice does have a consequence, but most of the “big” things I have faced have not been because of my own choice or because I have done or not done certain things. God allows things to happen to us. He permits certain things to bring us to our knees. Some of you may wonder things like “What kind of God would do that?” The only way I know how to answer that is to say, we live in a fallen world. We live in evil times. We live in a battle everyday that is ever changing and ever evolving with the generations. I know this is a foreign concept to some, but God is good! God is good despite all the bad things that happened to you!
Some of the things that I have been through are very evident, losing my husband to suicide is just one of them. So many other things that I have had to battle only people close to me know about. Some other battles have been public like my Mom’s breast cancer, her stoke, loosing a home, seeing my child on a ventilator after being hit by a car, having to move my children to different homes and schools due to circumstances beyond my control. I won’t even begin to scratch the surface of the inner battles that I face alone in my mind everyday, the same ones that many of you deal with every day. Big or small they are all personal battles. Most of them are lies from the enemy! Attacks on your self worth, or identity. I want everyone to know that there isn’t an ounce of strength in me that got me through these battles alone. I give all glory to God because it is through Him that I have faced, and gotten through some of my worst nightmares that have come to pass. There is no amount of personal growth, karma, motivational speakers, self help books, or medication that can give what faith in God can give you. Even in times of questioning His grace is sufficient. I am no bible scholar, I can’t quote scripture off the top of my head without an app on my iPhone, I still have some moments when I question, but what I can do is share with you my story. The events in my life that have caused what I felt as separation from God and the journey to find wholeness in Him. I can tell you how all the crap I have been through is now part of me. I could choose to hold on to it and let it fester into bitterness and have a cold heart, but I don’t. I choose to be an open book and tell you what God has done for me. You may be in a place where you feel like God has abandoned you, or you may have never known him at all. You may be in a place where you have decided to turn your back to God because you feel like he has nothing to offer and you keep getting kicked when your down. I’m sorry you feel that way. I can’t promise things will get better, but I can promise you can find peace in those storms. I can’t fix ANYTHING for you!! What I can do is spend a little time with you and tell you how I have found peace, how I seek peace and how I have to remind myself everyday of the same truths, because I still face battles, I’m still human and fail everyday! Despite all that I am loved more than I ever deserve.
I am posting this today despite the fear of how it may sound or come across. I even fear rejection or ridicule to be honest. I get intimidated easily, but overall I know where my strength comes from.
The feeling that someone else needs some encouragement trumps all those anxieties so I’m putting it out there! Again, I’m no scholar, no biblical genius, and I certainly don’t have all the answers. I’m just a girl that lives life the best way I know how, loving people along the way. I don’t care who you are, what you look like, who you date, what choices you have made in the past, or what label you wear on your britches. I will be available if you want to talk, email, message, pray… What ever. I may not be available 24/7, but I will do what I can when I can. Tara77harvey@gmail.com or message me on FB.

I have had a huge realization over the past few days. I have a blessed life! Of course I’ve known this, but I was reminded this weekend once again. Here are just a few things I came to realize this weekend away from the everyday wonderful/crazy life I have.
My best friend of 30 years is still one of the loves of my life, her parents are a fine example of unconditional love, grace, forgiveness and what it means to honor marriage vows even when you want to kick each other in the shin bone.
I have found an amazing kind of love with a man that was an answer to prayers. We compliment each other in so many ways. As long as he and I keep our focus as we have promised we will, we can do amazing things together… That focus is on God, not each other, just in case you were wondering. Neither of us are perfect, but we make each other want to be better people.
I have had boys running in and out of my house since 1999 that I have loved like my own and sent home to their Momma’s when I ran out of food, or energy, but I’ve NEVER ran out of love for ANY of them. Now I see the big picture and know what God was prepping me for. Thank you Thomas, Allan, Nick, Dalton, Braun, Bryce, Scott, and Josmar for teaching me how to love all the boys in my life! I’m sure there are more to mention but that’s the short list.
If you know me AT ALL, you know I love a road trip! I will load these little boys up with a toothbrush and a pack of crackers and set out on an adventure. We may go to the beach, the Smokies, or just down the road to a hotel with a pool, but it brings me great joy and a time to reflect on memories from my childhood and all the things that made me who I am and who I want to be. In the words of John Earley “You’re not lost as long as you have gas in the tank”
I’m thankful for him giving me his spirit of adventure by dragging me and Bridget on every twisty turny road on the Eastern side of this beautiful country we live in.
I’m thankful for my heartbreaks and hurts because it makes me realize how blessed I am in the good times. It also reminds me who to cling to when rough waters are before me… and unfortunately in this world there will be more to come, I’m just a little better prepared when the boat starts rocking. I will always try to find the silver lining and keep on going on adventures. God is good, ALL THE TIME! I’m very thankful for my lot! I’m also very thankful for the people God has given me to adventure through this life with. Let me know if you want to join us sometime. The more the merrier, atleast for a few days. 😉

I can’t help but giggle when I think I have things all figured out, all of the sudden God shakes things up a bit. This southern girl is laying here in one of the most comfortable beds I’ve ever slept in, in Barberton Ohio with my sweet, sleeping little boys trying to come up with something articulate to say about what I’m thankful for.
The only thing that comes to me are tears of joy. I can’t make a list of all I’m thankful for, there’s not enough time and some of y’all are trying to cook a turkey today.
I will say I am thankful for all things! All things given and all things taken away. I’m thankful that God is all knowing and that he knows what’s best for me. I’m thankful for a good perspective and not holding on to bitterness. I’m thankful for old memories and new beginnings. I’m thankful for my lot in life…every moment, every person God has given me.

Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. (Psalm 16:5, 6 NIV)

I have a lot of friends with so much to be thankful for and even more that are worn out from the fight this life on earth takes. Thankfulness, gratefulness, gratitude and a good perspective are the life boats that rescue us from troubled waters. Happy Thanksgiving everyone, I challenge y’all to be thankful everyday, not just on Turkey Day!