The Bible tells us we shouldn’t be unequally yoked, the reference is in regards to partnering with non-believers. Many pastors, teachers, counselors and mentors use this term in marriage. Have you heard this term? Do you comprehend this term? A yoke is farming equipment used to put two large animals together at the neck so that they can pull equally and do their “job” more sufficiently and equally.  
So…you’re married. Maybe you didn’t comprehend this statement when you decided to marry, maybe you or your spouse weren’t believers when you married. Maybe you married because you thought it was the right thing to do at the time. Either way you are proverbially tied at the neck with another human being. Somedays the work seems even things are going fine and moving right along. Other days it may seem if you are dragging that sorry piece of deadweight behind you while you are lunging forward vowing to get the task ahead of you done all by your self! Or quite possibly you are being the dead weight and your spouse is snarling and stomping trying to get you to see that you’re not pulling your weight and how it leaves all the responsibility on them.  
In these times of frustration how are you as a Christian supposed to handle these things? This is where we have to turn to our pocket field guide (The Bible) and hit our knees seeking how God would have you handle these things. A “WWJD” type of moment for the lack of better words.  

Do you think Jesus would handle it by throwing out passive aggressive comments? Stomping your feet and pouting? Screaming at the top of your lungs about the sorry job as a parent, spouse or friend your partner has done? I’m gonna go with…PROBABLY NOT! 

All though these are the natural defaults that our human nature embrace, this is not the way Jesus wants us to handle this, and after all is said and done isn’t HIM we are aiming to please?! 

There are many many scriptures that back me up in this but there are a few things that have to happen before those words matter… First you have to believe those words. You have to believe those words were written to you, for you, and about you, even when things seem unfair or that Gods’s promises aren’t coming in the time frame you would like.  

Second you have to put them into action, which is easy when things are going smoothly, but what about when you spouse isn’t meeting an expectation that you have? Is it so easy to put the meek, mild, forgiving, mercy, holding of the tongue, and grace into action when you want to throat punch the other person? NOT AT ALL! But in order to reap the harvest of peace, and joy you have to sow those seeds even in the hard times. Sometimes this takes more than you have in you, that’s the moments you have to train yourself to lean in closer to God and tap into HIS strength. 

Use the difficult parts of your marriage to grow you closer to God, learn HIS ways, reflect HIS character. 

You disqualify yourself when you react to a situation rather than lifting it up to God in prayer. He will show you the way to respond to rather than react to something that angers you. 

Here are a few scriptures that may help with this training. I would love to hear any that are “go to”

Scriptures for you when you feel a throw down coming on. Remember these words are not going to make sense to your friends that are non-believers, they are going to tell you to “get what you deserve”and they will be glad to join you a verbal bashing of your spouse, don’t fall into that trap. 
 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. Rom 8:25

 Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Eccl 7:8

 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him. Prv 26:4

 Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. 2Tim 2:23

 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, Jas 1:19
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭4-7‬ NIV)