It is no secret I have been through some tough stuff in my life! It is also very evident that I am blessed beyond measure!! My life is full and I am grateful for all things! I want to share some things that have overwhelmed me this morning.
Our sermon series at church these last few weeks has been called “Chainbreakers” This past week we touched on some pretty tough stuff. The theories that people have as to why bad things happen to them…
Bobby (pastor) mentioned a few things that would seem to make sense in our society today because we live in a world where people believe what motivational posters or quotes say, but the truth is most times our hardships just don’t make sense. They have nothing to do with how we are behaving, how we were raised, or what kind of luck we have.
They have everything thing to do with who we turn to when our lives fall apart or become unmanageable.
I have been through a lot of bad stuff. Some may have been linked to my choices because every choice does have a consequence, but most of the “big” things I have faced have not been because of my own choice or because I have done or not done certain things. God allows things to happen to us. He permits certain things to bring us to our knees. Some of you may wonder things like “What kind of God would do that?” The only way I know how to answer that is to say, we live in a fallen world. We live in evil times. We live in a battle everyday that is ever changing and ever evolving with the generations. I know this is a foreign concept to some, but God is good! God is good despite all the bad things that happened to you!
Some of the things that I have been through are very evident, losing my husband to suicide is just one of them. So many other things that I have had to battle only people close to me know about. Some other battles have been public like my Mom’s breast cancer, her stoke, loosing a home, seeing my child on a ventilator after being hit by a car, having to move my children to different homes and schools due to circumstances beyond my control. I won’t even begin to scratch the surface of the inner battles that I face alone in my mind everyday, the same ones that many of you deal with every day. Big or small they are all personal battles. Most of them are lies from the enemy! Attacks on your self worth, or identity. I want everyone to know that there isn’t an ounce of strength in me that got me through these battles alone. I give all glory to God because it is through Him that I have faced, and gotten through some of my worst nightmares that have come to pass. There is no amount of personal growth, karma, motivational speakers, self help books, or medication that can give what faith in God can give you. Even in times of questioning His grace is sufficient. I am no bible scholar, I can’t quote scripture off the top of my head without an app on my iPhone, I still have some moments when I question, but what I can do is share with you my story. The events in my life that have caused what I felt as separation from God and the journey to find wholeness in Him. I can tell you how all the crap I have been through is now part of me. I could choose to hold on to it and let it fester into bitterness and have a cold heart, but I don’t. I choose to be an open book and tell you what God has done for me. You may be in a place where you feel like God has abandoned you, or you may have never known him at all. You may be in a place where you have decided to turn your back to God because you feel like he has nothing to offer and you keep getting kicked when your down. I’m sorry you feel that way. I can’t promise things will get better, but I can promise you can find peace in those storms. I can’t fix ANYTHING for you!! What I can do is spend a little time with you and tell you how I have found peace, how I seek peace and how I have to remind myself everyday of the same truths, because I still face battles, I’m still human and fail everyday! Despite all that I am loved more than I ever deserve.
I am posting this today despite the fear of how it may sound or come across. I even fear rejection or ridicule to be honest. I get intimidated easily, but overall I know where my strength comes from.
The feeling that someone else needs some encouragement trumps all those anxieties so I’m putting it out there! Again, I’m no scholar, no biblical genius, and I certainly don’t have all the answers. I’m just a girl that lives life the best way I know how, loving people along the way. I don’t care who you are, what you look like, who you date, what choices you have made in the past, or what label you wear on your britches. I will be available if you want to talk, email, message, pray… What ever. I may not be available 24/7, but I will do what I can when I can. Tara77harvey@gmail.com or message me on FB.
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